"Where am I when I really need me?"\\
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"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes."\\
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"The beatings will continue until morale improves."((In conjunction with "Morale will not improve until the beatings stop." | Other words can be substituted for "beatings".))\\
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"I have concepts of a plan."\\
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"That didn't happen.\\
And if it did, it wasn't that bad.\\
And if it was, that's not a big deal.\\
And if it is, that's not my fault.\\
And if it was, I didn't mean it.\\
And if I did, you deserved it."((Oftentimes shorted by a few lines.))\\
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"Yesterday's future is today."((South Park S5 E13, "Alder Research Group" van at 01:53))\\
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"The storage for fossil fuel waste is your lungs."((As a response to nuclear fuel waste.))\\
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"My first victim was myself."\\
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