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--- conflict_resolution:start [2026/03/02 08:42] – created ultracomfy
+++ conflict_resolution:start [2026/03/02 23:17] (current) – ultracomfy
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 ~~Title:Procedures~~
-====== Procedures ======
+====== Conflict Resolution ======
 ===== Standard Conflict Resolution =====
+Through observation and introspection I have, over the years, developed a somewhat socially adapted [[:Systems|system]] to navigate and deescalate interpersonal conflict. The system primarily serves as a framework/guideline for me on how to express my feelings and encourage a conversation to peacefully resolve problems. This is done in five distinct "stages", the fifth of which coming into effect in case the system fails at producing sufficient results. Exact descriptions for each stage can be seen below.
+There used to be a past in which I rationalized human conflict in these five stages  //exactly//. I warned and final'd and consequence'd people directly and explicitly, which was extremely socially unadapted, got me weird looks, I did not get taken serious, ridiculed, and it made situations worse. That last part was because people thought I was robotically threatening them with consequences, which none of this is actually about. While the goal is indeed to be robotic (insofar as to be very predictable and calculated), the goal is //not// to threaten people. Every step before actual consequences themselves are about //avoiding// consequences by inviting a person to a conversation. The big words on the cover ("Warning", Final", etc.) really just state how important it is.
+These days I do this in a way that is a lot more socially adapted. I don't explicitly tell people "This is an S3-Repeat Warn"((Which I would have genuinely done many years ago.)) but package it in a way that humans will consider socially adapted. That's annoying to me because anything //but// S3-Repeat Warn is less precise than just saying S3-Repeat Warn, but it is the overall better play. This is to say, issuing notices, warnings, repeated warnings, finals and consequences now only happens implicitly (except with the people who I have already introduced to these terms). We all do this all the time, we just don't think about it in such a structured way and nobody but me uses these particular terms, but when your mom is shitting on your dad for coming drunk from work, that's the equivalent to a S3-Repeat Warn.
-In normal, day to day, operations we can always accidentally do things that tick other people off. Most conflicts in the world are unintentional and you can never know what specific triggers there are for a specific person. By default we do not know what people are like, so even though we have social norms and cultures, specific people may (dis)like things that others would not. This means that other people depend on you to tell them when they do things you would rather them not. For this, I have the Standard Communication System, and the ultimate goal of this system is to create a predictable environment in which problems can be talked about in a way that is fair to everyone. To be specific, I disallow myself to hand out consequences to people who I haven't even told that there are things they're doing that I don't like. It would be massively unfair to start shitting on people before they even knew that I didn't like something they did. Naturally, this does not cover everything - some things that are //obviously// hurting people both physically or emotionally will skip some stages. Just unadulterated physical assault will skip through to the consequences stage right away, it mostly depends on my personal preferences: When an act was obviously done intentionally to hurt then consequences will ensue instantly, but if it is conceivable that an act was accidental then they might just get a final instead. If a person did something that I don't like but they couldn't even have known then they will be getting a warning, and if I'm not even sure myself how to interpret an action then they may just get a notice at first. At the same time, even if a person does something that just isn't OK and they //are// aware of it, they usually deserve at least a chance, for which this system is useful as well. The goal is always to give people the chance to change course before things escalate.
+I will also mention that there are some acts which are so egregiously and obviously malicious that some, most or even all steps are skipped. Standard Conflict Resolution is closely tied to [[:ULTRACOMFY Ethical Jurisdiction System|Ethical Jurisdiction]] and often goes hand in hand. In these cases, pro-active defense is necessitated by the offender and we cannot wait until the system is run through conventionally.
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 [[Consequences]]