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--- philosophy [2024/03/17 23:13] – created ultracomfy
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-<fs xx-large>Conversation difficulty</fs> describes the difficulty of maintaining a conversation with a person. Disinterested, distracted, anxious or socially inexperienced people exhibit behaviors that make it very difficult to maintain a conversation, although even between two good, interested friends there may appear "droughts" from time to time where conversation just doesn't seem to want to flow. Behaviors contributing to conversation difficulty include, but are not limited to:
-  * Responding extremely briefly to a point that it hurts the flow of the conversation.
-  * Giving "dead" responses, ie. saying things that do not give the other person a lot of things to pick up on and continue the conversation. Ideally, in a conversation, with everything we say we //add// something to the conversation that your partner can use to keep going. Saying things that //respond// but never //add// anything kills conversations.
-  * Excessive response times (ie. in online chats).
-  * Going out of your way to say as little as possible.
-  * Not picking up on content //added// by the other person, only going on and on about what //you// said.
-  * Not asking questions. Not that you have to ask questions all the time, but they're useful nevertheless.
-  * Talking about things the other person doesn't really know a lot about or just can't add very much to. This is probably more often than not unintentional, but still increases conversation difficulty.
-  * etc...
-Dealing with conversation difficulty is exhausting, as the other person may seem disinterested and one begins to doubt how much use it is to desperately keep the conversation alive. Excessive conversation difficulty and the following drought can lead some people into what is known as //Conversation Saving Mode//, a state of desperation where one just says whatever they can come up in a last ditch effort to encourage a reaction //somehow//.
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-This [[piouslittlechristiangirl|poor specimen]] tried so hard to keep this conversation alive. Unfortunately, I can only show this small snippet, but rest assured that her long, detailed messages absolutely towered over my quick responses.
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-Conversation difficulty is naturally for some people //in particular// based merely on their [[personality]], but many other things can contribute to it. Being unfamiliar with the other person, busy, distracted and other situational circumstances can all lead to problems. Combatting it is best done by calling it out - which is partly what this page exists for - and deciding on a course of action. Perhaps take a break. Maybe calling it out inherently spawns its own conversation. Anything goes!