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--- jehovah_s_witnesses [2026/01/13 09:40] – ultracomfy
+++ jehovah_s_witnesses [2026/03/03 12:37] (current) – ultracomfy
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 <WRAP centeralign>~Watchtower, WTBTS. January 15, 1983. p. 22., recited from [[RationalWiki]]</WRAP>
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+The [[https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Essay:I_thought_this_was_supposed_to_be_RATIONALWiki|"rational"]] people over at [[:RationalWiki]] have an article on [[https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Jehovah's Witnesses|Jehovah's Witnesses]].
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 The content of this page may, by the strict meaning of its words, be inaccurate. I am writing this with the intent to inform, not to distract. Please read the full article on [[ramblings:accuracy|]].
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 Essentially being fundamental Christians, are primarily marked by their hatred for things, a list imported directly from the bible, always with a personal spin depending on the specific witness and their biases. In general, however, witnesses hate everything pagan (people, traditions (FUCK YOU [[Christmas|CHRISTMAS]]), whatever), they hate gay people, people not yet part of their cult, people who are part of their cult, equality, [[woman|women]], doors (!!), blood, education, non-nuclear families, everything not yet mentioned on this list and especially everyone they //want// to hate, they usually //will// find some bible verse that they can spin around enough until it vaguely supports their hate, all in the name of Big J whom they do their utmost to make happy by hating things so much they get a [[Hateboner|boner from the excitement]]. It seems to be that the general concept of JW day to day life is a cycle of self-reinforcing hate cycles balanced with the occasional bit of being a nice person every once in a while to reach the quota. If only someone told them that YHWH hates hate (WTBTS would never tell them, that's one of the most important things to keep a witness busy and distracted).
-====== Ideology conflicts with Reality ======
+====== Ideological Conflicts ======
 ===== 1: We respect secular authorities =====
 Witnesses claim that doctrine is to respect secular authorities - provided the  <del>governing body</del> biblical teachings agrees with the authorities. It's a euphemism banking on the fact that //most// people recognize Christianity/The Bible as a message of good and peace and therefore don't think about this too much. The truth is, however, that a words-based, **literal** reading of the bible disagrees with effectively every single aspect of modern law and society and - unfortunately for the witnesses - since Jehovah's Witnesses are a cult with the [[Biblical Literalism]] doctrine, this means they follow they bible not //as it means//, but //as it says// and, oh boy, the bible says a lot of things.
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 ===== 2: We agree with science =====
+Jehovah's Witnesses, like many other cults and religions, finds itself rubbing with scientific inquiry. However, unlike many other christian fundamentalist denominations, Witnesses are taught to play it smart and to be as compatible with science as a biblically literalist cult can be. Their main weapon here is the non-refusal of science. Witnesses are told that our earth is amazing and should indeed be studied, and they agree with all scientific observations (except when they don't), they only disagree with their conclusions.
+They agree with science on how reproduction works, what DNA is and how mutation is a thing (they believe in micro-evolution), but will subtly disagree with the conclusion that evolution is a thing. Outwardly they will agree with all the premises leading up to evolution, but will block just when it comes to actually making the logical conclusion.
-===== 3: The world is spherical =====
+And even that is done in an intentionally ambiguous way. They may not explicitly reject scientific conclusions, at least outwardly, but on the inside you will find Watchtower sanctioned videos showing exciting, unlikely animal features (like the soundless owl feathers) and leadingly ask "This couldn't possibly have come about by random chance, right?". Verbatim. And no, this didn't happen randomly, this happened because there were evolutionary pressures on the animal that made the animal's evolution drift into that direction((...randomly. It's not wrong, but come on.. it's not really random either.)).
-===== 4: We believe in evolution =====
+One favorite you're gonna make witnesses very uncomfortable with is the shape of the earth, because all of them would //like// to believe that it's a disk. The bible doesn't explicitly state it, but it very much implies it and that means it keeps them up at night, especially because many of them aren't scientifically illiterate enough to actually believe it. The same extends all the way to the Watchtower, which needs to decide on whether to double down and make disk earth official doctrine, to give it to a spherical earth or, and that's ultimately what they did, kind of avoid the topic and be very subtle about it. Outwardly, again, Watchtower panders towards the sane option and says on their website that "the Bible does not teach that the earth is flat". All implications in the bible pointing towards a flat earth are excused as "figures of speech" (That's the no. #1 tactic of a biblically literalist cult to avoid dealing with problematic sentences in their own scripture.((Followed closely by no. #2: censoring the problematic sentence by just making your own scripture "based on" the original.))). Internally, again, the shape of the earth is very much a matter for discussion. Who knows.... <shrug> what the shape of the earth really is, right? Oh, did I forget to mention that Jehovah's Witnesses used to fully believe flat earth, and that the tolerance towards a spherical earth is actually comparatively new? As I said, they really want to believe in flat earth, but as a modern cult you can't bring that if you also want a lot of adherents.